Aftermath
by HardToConcentrate
Summary: My first ever FanFic. Set after 7x24, GSR
1. Chapter 1

Ok this is my first ever Fan Fiction so be gentle with me please  
This story is set after season 7's finale and is GSR  
The first chapter is kinda short but other chapters should be longer  
I don't own any of the characters or anything (unfortunately) 

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Aftermath

Chapter One

As she lay there underneath the Mustang, cold, wet, dirty, lonely, Sara Sidle couldn't help but think that this was it, this is how she was going to die.

She had long given up calling for help and attempting to pull herself out from underneath the wreaked vehicle, it was far too heavy for her tiny frame, she was fighting a losing battle.

Alone in the middle of the vast desert Sara couldn't help but think. She thought about her childhood, the night that her mother took her father's life, the years spent in foster care, finally escaping it all and leaving for university, attending the seminar that led her to Gil Grissom and the heartache and misery that followed until the night Nick was kidnapped and somehow her life all seemed to slip into place.

The past two years had been the happiest of her life and she couldn't help but feel cheated. She waited so many years for him to decide what he wanted and now she was being taken away.

She wondered how he was coping, how he would cope when he was told she was gone, when he was told about her little secret.

It was just over a week ago that she found out she was pregnant. She stared down at the blue line in shock and tried to work out how to tell Gil. The right moment never seemed to arise, then that whole thing with Lady Heather came up and it just didn't seem right to tell him yet.

She wondered how he would have reacted when she told him he was going to be a father, she wondered if they would have had a girl or a boy, who it would have looked like, names.

The pain seemed to fade and slowly Sara closed her eyes and the Vegas desert turned to black.

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So what do you think?  
Should I continue? 


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry this chapter also is pretty short. Had completly no time to do anything at the moment but I wanted to update.  
I'm not to sure about this chapter, it was written kinda quickly.  
Again I unfortunatly own nothing. 

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Aftermath

Chapter Two

Gil Grissom sat in the hospital with his head in his hands, his eyes puffy, cheeks still stained with the tracks his tears took.

Broken ankle, fractured wrists, hypothermia, bruised ribs and the countless cuts and bruises her body suffered.

And the baby. He didn't even know she was pregnant until the doctor came in to tell him that she had miscarried, the baby didn't stand a chance with the amount of stress and trauma her body went through.

The team left a while ago; after all, the lab won't run itself. They all understood that Grissom wouldn't be in tonight, or the next night for that fact. They just made sure he would be alright and promised they would return when shift was over.

He didn't care though. It wouldn't make any difference. It wouldn't change the fact she was out there alone, stuck underneath that vehicle for hours on end and it wouldn't change the fact that it was his fault. If only he'd worked out where she was sooner, if he'd stayed with her during shift then Natalie wouldn't have been able to take her, if he'd actually worked out who the miniature killer was sooner then they wouldn't be in this mess. She would be at home waiting for him, reading a book on the couch or watching television in their bedroom with the dog curled up next to her, its head resting in her lap while she played with one of its ears.

Grissom allowed himself to break down for the second time that day.

The first time everyone was there. Catherine attempted to comfort him but nothing could console him. This time he was alone, no one was there to witness his tears.

The doctor came in a few minutes later to inform him he was able to go see her now.

He slowly followed the doctor a little way down the corridor. They stopped and Grissom opened the door and walked in.

He was scared to look at her, scared he would break down again if he saw her broken and bruised body.

He finally built up the courage to lift his head and when he saw her his eyes grew wide.

"Hey Bugman".

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Ok, so what do you think?  
Should I still continue? 


	3. Chapter 3

I'm so sorry it's taken me forever to update this, I've had a bit of a rough time lately and wtih work and all that I just haven't been able to find time to do much of anything but I am hoping to be able to spend more time on this now  
This isn't the best chapter in the world, think of it more as a filler maybe, but I hope it's alright

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Aftermath 

Chapter Three

They kept their promise.

As soon as shift ended Nick, Greg, Warrick, Catherine and Brass made their way back to the hospital.

They were updated on Sara's condition by the doctor and they were told they would be able to go in and see her but only for a short amount of time as she was still very weak and needed rest.

They made their way to her room and peered in the door.

Grissom and Sara were laying asleep together on her bed, Sara's head was resting on his chest, Grissom's arms wrapped protectively around her.

"You guys gonna stand there in the hallway all day or would you like to come in?"

Sara looked at them with an amused grin on her face, her voice still hoarse.

"Hey girl. How you feeling?" Warrick was the first to speak as he made his way over to her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Been better but I'll survive," Sara replied with a smile.

All in turn entered the room and gave Sara a hug then proceeded to pull up a chair, Greg deciding to perch on the edge of Sara's side of the bed, and before long the conversation was flowing as it would have done on any normal day.

After about quarter of an hour Grissom began to stir from sleep.

"About time to decided to join us Griss," quipped Greg.

"How long have you lot been here?" came Grissom's mumbled reply.

"Not long sweetheart, Catherine said you haven't exactly been looking after yourself lately so we thought we'd let you sleep."

"I'm fine, I just wanted to find you."

"And you did." Sara smiled up at Grissom and he placed a lingering kiss on her forehead.

"I think it's time we all made a move and let these two have some time," said Brass getting up out of his chair.

Nick stood up, "yeah but we'll be back before you know it, you wont be able to get rid of us that easily."

One by one they said their goodbyes and the couple were alone once again.

"I know I never told you enough Sara but I love you so much, I'm never gonna stop letting you know that, I'm just sorry it took this for me to realise it."

"I know you love me Gil, you don't have to say it all the time for me to know, and I love you too."

Grissom smiled and leaned down and took her lips with his.

"I love you Sara."

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Reviews??? 


	4. Chapter 4

Ok so here's chapter four  
Again it's not great and it's not long lol I need to work on the length of these I think but I hope you enjoy it

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Aftermath

Chapter Four

A couple of months passed and things were gradually going back to normal. Sara was allowed home a few weeks after she was found and Grissom decided it was about time to use some of the vacation time he'd built up so he would be able to stay at home and care for Sara no matter how adamant she was that she didn't need caring for, but now it was time for him to return to work and to be honest she welcomed it. She knew he meant well but she needed to get some space back. Truth be told, she hadn't been alone since she woke up in the hospital, Grissom watched her every move though he barely touched her, almost afraid she would break.

The only time normality really returned was in bed. They would fall asleep apart; each staying on their own side of the bed but somewhere during sleep they would come together and Sara always awoke to find herself snuggled into Grissom, his arms wrapped around her, their legs entwined.

She didn't quite know when she began to shy away from him. She felt fine in the hospital, perhaps which was due to the fact she was just so glad that damn car was off of her, but as time went on what happened to her and what she lost, what died out there, began to take its toll and Sara felt herself withdraw from everything around her.

Sara awoke to an empty bed.

She sat bolt upright, panicking slightly until she noticed the note left on Grissom's pillow;

_'I've had to go back to work __tonight. You looked so peaceful; I__ didn't want to wake you. Call me if you need me for anything.__Love G x' _

Sara sighed and climbed out of bed then went straight into the shower.

She set the temperature to just a little hotter than she would normally have and stepped in.

She stood there as the water pounded down on her back, feeling her muscles relax.

It was only then she allowed herself to break down.

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Any reviews would be appreciated 


	5. Chapter 5

Aftermath

Chapter Five

Grissom had left for work a couple of hours ago and Sara had curled up on the sofa along with the dog, it was almost as if he was now taking over from Gil while he wasn't home.

Sara was flicking through the channels on the TV when there was a knock at the front door. Bruno jumped up off the sofa and began to bark at the person who was on the other side of the door. Sara cautiously made her way over and opened the door slowly.

"Hey there sunshine."

"Oh hey Nick, come in. Bruno shut up."

Bruno ceased his barking but made sure he stayed close to Sara and between her and Nick.

"He certainly seems protective of you."

"Yeah, I never seem to be alone anymore these days. There's always Griss or Bruno watching my every move."

"It's only because they care Sar, they're just worried, we all are, you haven't exactly been yourself since you left the hospital."

Sara just kneeled down and scratched behind the dog's ears.

"Look, I'm not here to lecture you or keep an eye on you. If you need to talk I'll be here for you but I just came over to watch a couple of movies, eat pizza and drink a couple of beers, it's been a while since we've done that."

Sara looked up at him and smiled.

"Thanks Nicky."

"No problem sunshine. Now how about you go grab a couple of plates while I go and get the stuff out my truck."

"Okay."

"I'll be back in just a second."

And that's how things continued for the next few weeks. On his days off Nick would come round, food and films in hand, and they would just spend the day on the sofa, sometimes talking for hours, other times they barely said anything at all, sometimes he only stayed a couple of hours, others they both fell asleep until Grissom came home or Bruno found something to bark at.

One day they were watching some random programme when Sara turned to face Nick.

"Does it get any easier?"

The question threw him for a second.

"What?"

"You know, sleeping without having dreams about what happened, being scared of your own shadow, not being able to communicate to those around you through fear of what they'll think of you, just all that stuff really."

Nick scooted up the sofa and pulled Sara to his chest.

"It takes a little while sweetie. I wont lie to you, I still get the occasional nightmare but it's nowhere as bad as it used to be, it just takes time, and you've got people around you to help you through this, you've got me, and all the guy and you've got Grissom, he loves you so much Sar, I've never seen him like he was when you were gone, he just wants to help you and be there for you."

"I need to go out."

"Sar…"

"Seriously Nicky, I'm sick of being in this house. I need to just get out for a while, just get back some normality."

"Okay. Tomorrow night I'll pick you up at 7 and we'll grab a couple of drinks."

"Thank you."

"Not a problem. Look, Grissom will be home soon and if I'm going out tomorrow night I had better go grab some beauty sleep."

He grinned at her and kissed her on the forehead before getting up off the sofa.

"Talk to Griss Sar, it'll help I promise, you both need it."

He smiled at her once more and let himself out, leaving Sara to contemplate his words.


	6. Chapter 6

Ok, finally written a longer chapter. Not quite sure if I like it or not, am going through a really tough time at the moment and wrote this while my mind was on other things so I apologise now if you hate it.  
Any reviews would be appreciated and if you have any tip on how I could improve I would be very grateful. 

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Aftermath

Chapter Six

He was nervous

He couldn't understand why because they had been out countless times before but something just felt different, like something had changed between them but Nick just couldn't put his finger on it.

He'd dressed smart casual in a pair of jeans and a black shirt. He splashed a small amount of aftershave on and took one last look in the mirror before grabbing his wallet and keys and making his way out the door.

She was nervous.

She hadn't been out since she was kidnapped. Of course she had taken the dog out for short walks and popped to the store just round the corner but she hadn't been out properly, hadn't been able to get away from the house for a couple of hours, to try and actually feel normal again.

It had taken her a long time to get ready. In the end she had decided on a pair of black jeans and a strappy top that she had brought a few months ago but never got round to wearing.

"You look beautiful."

Sara looked in the mirror and saw Grissom in the doorway behind her.

"Thanks."

Sara smiled briefly at him then sat down on their bed to put on her shoes.

"I don't know how long we're gonna be out so don't worry if it gets late."

"Okay. I was gonna go into the lab for an hour or so, there's a pile of paperwork with my name on it."

She thought back to what Nick had told her and saw a way to maybe be able to spend time with Gil without feeling as if they had to talk.

"You need a hand? I mean if you wanted you could maybe bring some home and I could help you go through it?"

"Yeah, that would be great."

He smiled at her just as there was a knock at the door.

"That'll be Nick. I'll see you later."

She began to walk out the room but paused when he reached Grissom. She stood in front of him and placed a quick kiss on his lips.

"Bye Gil."

Grissom touched where she had just kissed him and smiled as he thought there was still hope.

Sara opened the front door and stepped straight out.

"Take it you're ready to go then."

Sara just nodded and made her way to Nick's truck.

The drive to the bar was quiet. Nick kept glancing over at Sara but she just kept her gaze fixed out the window.

"Stop looking at me cowboy."

Nick chuckled, "Sorry Sar, you're just awfully quiet tonight, kinda worries me."

"Don't. I…I'm just slightly nervous to tell you the truth. I'll be fine once I've had a couple of drinks."

A few minutes later they arrived at the bar and Nick pulled into a parking space.

"You ready sunshine?"

"You bet."

They made their way inside and Nick felt Sara's hand slip into his. He gave it a reassuring squeeze and they made their way to the bar.

"Hey Sar, why don't you go and grab us that booth over there and I'll get us some drinks."

Sara made her way through the crowd and slid into the booth. A couple of minutes later Nick returned with a bottle of vodka in one hand and two beers and glasses in the other.

"Where's mine then?"

"Ha ha, very funny Sidle. I've been on a few nights out with you remember, I know how well you can put it away."

Sara grinned at Nick and reached for one of the beers.

A couple of hours had passed and with the beers and most of the vodka gone, Nick and Sara had loosened up. Sara now sat close to Nick's side, his arm draped over her shoulders.

"Come on Sar, how long you two been together?"

"A little while."

"Nope, not good enough, I need a number."

Sara sighed and dropped her head onto his shoulder.

"Two years."

"Wow, some investigators we all are."

"Yeah well so are me and Gil so if we want to hide something, we know how."

"Why hide it though?"

"We just weren't sure how people would react, didn't know what they would think. We'd hate all the reasons we didn't get together sooner to be voiced by our friends. Plus there are our jobs to think about. I never wanted to be the reason Gil lost his job, it just seemed like the easiest option at the beginning, you know, while we were getting used to there actually being an 'us'. Then it just got harder to tell you guys. Anyway, it's out now, just have to wait and see what happens I guess."

"It will be fine Sar, you've kept it quiet for two years and no one had a clue, you've proved that you working relationship is no different to what it ever was."

"Maybe."

"Come on, time for another drink."

"I think I've had enough for tonight."

"Come on, neither of us are doing anything tomorrow."

Nick took Sara's glass from her and re-filled it.

"Are you mad at me? You know, for not telling you."

"Nah, not mad, just slightly hurt, but I understand why you felt you had to hide it so it's fine, we're cool."

"Thank you, I don't know what I would do without you."

Sara smiled at Nick and leant up and kissed him on the corner of the mouth.

"You'll never be without me Sara."

In another half hour, Nick and Sara had finished off the bottle of vodka and were contemplating what other drinks to get.

"Nah I have a better sunshine, let's dance."

And with that Nick grabbed Sara's hand and pulled her up onto the dance floor despite her refusals.

"Nicky I don't dance."

"Of course you do. Just relax."

Nick put her arms around his neck and pulled her close. He moved his hands down to her hips and began to move them in time with the music.

"See, you can dance."

"Or as well as can be expected with the amount of alcohol in our systems."

"I'm not drunk. I'm bigger than you, plus I ate before I came out which I'm guessing you didn't, and anyway, I think you had more than me but I must admit I'm tipsy."

"Good."

"Why good?"

"Because you won't be too drunk to forget this."

She leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips.

Nick looked at Sara, shocked, for a moment before pulling her back to him and catching her lips with his. Sara's hands were in his hair, his still on her hips, pulling her closer, their tongues duelling.

The need for air suddenly became too much and they pulled apart, staring at each other as they caught their breath.


	7. Chapter 7

Just a quick chapter, was written while I was at work so not my best as obviously I was stopping and starting when people came into the shop. Tried to rewrite some of it but this was just stuck in my head so I thought I may as well post it. Hope it isnt too bad. x 

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Aftermath

Chapter Seven

He'd gone to bed hours ago.

For ages he had just stared at the ceiling, he then tried reading the latest edition of a forensics journal but he was unable to concentrate and the words just seemed to blur together, he had so many questions and concerns floating around in his head.

Why was Sara unable to talk to him?

He understood how hard all of this must be for her, he may not have been the one who was trapped under the car but he had never felt so damn scared in his entire life, Sara must have felt ten times worse.

And the baby.

He was devastated when he learnt that they had suffered a miscarriage, he didn't even know that she was pregnant, why didn't she tell him?

He just wished she would talk to him. The couple of times he had attempted to bring any of it up she made some kind of excuse and left the room. He figured she would come to him or let him know when she was ready to talk. Did the kiss she gave him earlier indicate that she was ready?

Grissom sighed and turned over onto his side. Closing his eyes he once again tried to fall asleep.

A little while after he heard the bedroom door open and then close. A couple of seconds later he felt the bed dip as she sat down on the edge to take off her shoes. He heard her removing her clothes and felt her climb into their bed, her leg brushing against his for a second, he guessed it was by accident.

Still pretending to be sleeping he lay there and listened to her breathing.

After a few minutes her breaths became quicker and he was surprised when she began to sob.

Scooting closer to her, he curled his body around hers and held her in his arms.

He felt her stiffen and she turned to look at him, shock evident on her face, her eyes glistening with tears.

"Gil…"

"Shhh…honey just try and sleep, please just let me hold you."

Feeling her relax slightly in his arms he placed a kiss on the top of her head. Her hand covered his as she continued to cry until she fell asleep, exhausted. He stayed awake a while longer, watching over her, until sleep also came over him.


	8. Chapter 8

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Aftermath

Chapter Eight

He awoke to an empty bed.

Reaching over to Sara's side of the bed, he felt that the sheets were cold, she hadn't been there for a while.

Getting out of bed and pulling on a t-shirt he made his way downstairs. Finding the living room and kitchen empty, he made his way into the garden and that's where he found her.

Sitting on one of the lawn chairs with Bruno at her side, she sat in just a tank top and her panties, a glass of what looked like whisky in her hand, her head tilted upward towards the night sky.

Going back into the living room, he grabbed the blanket that was on the sofa and returned outside.

She noticed he was there before he even reached her or spoke.

"Go back inside Gil, I wont be long."

He went upto her and put the blanket over her.

"You'll freeze out here in just that honey."

"I'm fine, I'll be in soon."

"Move up."

"What?"

"Move up. I'm gonna stay with you."

"Gil…"

"Move Sara."

Sighing, she sat forward, letting Grissom sit down behind her, his legs either side of her. She sat back and leaned against his chest, bringing the blanket upto her chin.

"What are you doing out here Sara?"

"I needed some air."

"And the whisky?"

Sara just shrugged.

"We need to talk about all this and this time you're not going to run away ok."

Sara downed the rest of the whisky and put the glass on the ground.

"What was tonight about honey? Why were you upset?"

"Do we have to do this now Gilbert?"

"Now is as good a time as any, we need to talk, we're going to fall apart if we don't and I couldn't bear that."

"I kissed Nick."

"What?"

"Tonight at the bar. We had a few drinks and got up to dance and I kissed him and he kissed me back. That's why I cried when I got home and into bed. I cheated on you."

"Why?"

"Alcohol mostly, and the fact that you don't seem to be able to touch me anymore, our current situation an exception obviously."

"Sara, you never want to speak to me, I don't know what to do."

"See that's the thing, Nick never expected me to talk, he was just there, if I needed to talk about anything then he would listen, if I didn't then he was just there, that's what I needed Griss, not to feel like I was under constant supervision."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry, I just want to be held sometimes you know, I wont break if you do."

"I'm just so scared Sara, I could have lost you."

"But you didn't."

Grissom sighed and kissed her hair.

"We lost a baby."

He felt her tense in his arms and suck in a breath.

"Why didn't you tell me."

"I didn't even know if you wanted to have kids, it's not something we ever really discussed."

"So what, you thought I would leave you or tell you to have an abortion?"

"I don't know Gil. I mean, you left me for a month to go and bloody teach and our only communication during that time was a damn stick, and then when I found out I was pregnant you buggered off to Heather's for the night, just what exactly am I supposed to think?"

Grissom ran a hand over his face and rested his cheek against the top of her head, smelling her shampoo.

"Okay, we've spoke about me going to Williams and Heather and I don't really want to discuss old wounds but please believe me when I tell you that I love you and when I was told about the baby, our baby, I was devastated. I would have loved to have had a baby with you Sara, there's no one else I would rather be the mother of my children."

He felt her break down.

"I'm sorry I lost our baby."

"Hey, there is no way it was your fault, don't you dare blame yourself."

"But it was upto me to protect it."

"Sweetie, there was no way you could have prevented that from happening, your body was under too much stress, it isn't your fault."

"You know, I never really thought of myself as a mom but I actually started to like the idea, I even started to think about what it would be like, who it would take after."

Grissom held Sara tighter and placed gentle kisses in her hair.

"Maybe in a little while we could try again if you wanted to."

Sara turned slightly and looked up at him.

"Why aren't you mad at me, you know, about Nick and all that?"

"Because you were drunk and I know I haven't exactly handeled all this very well. I mean, it wont happen again will it?"

"No."

"Then we will be fine."

He looked down at her and kissed her softly.

"I love you Sara, nothing will change that."

Her eyes filled with tears as she slipped a hand behind his head and brought his lips down to meet hers. Sara adjusted in her seat and moved so she was now straddling Grissom's lap. His hands found their way to her hips and underneath her top, gently stroking her bare skin. She felt his tongue snake across her bottom lip, begging for entry.

And that's how they continued for a while, just feeling each other, tasting each other, until Grissom reluctantly broke the kiss and gazed into her eyes, one of his hands just slipping into the waistband of her panties.

"You think we should take this inside honey?"

"Okay."

Sara climbed off of Grissom and picked up the blanket. Making their way into the house, he placed a hand on the small of her back and guided her towards the bedroom.

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Am thinking of maybe trying out writing a bit of smut, what do people think?  
Reviews make me smile 


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